I am a Star Wars geek. OK, so this may be something you already knew about me, but just in case you didn't, here is the run down of how bad it is.
I was a big fan of Star Wars as a kid. I even remember seeing the Empire Strikes Back in the theater and I am pretty sure the Wampa scared me. (The Wampa is the Ice Monster that attacks Luke and his Ton Ton on the planet Hoth at the beginning of the movie.) Some people (my little brother Mike) watched movies like Annie over and over again. Not me. For me, it was Star Wars. With toy gun in hand and pretending to be a Rebel Trooper, I would get down behind the couch and shoot the Storm Troopers as they stormed their way into the Rebel blockade runner.
I still have a Snow Speeder and two action figures from when I was a kid. Of course its in poor condition as I played with it a lot. I have added several original toys to my collection including an AT-AT Walker, Darth Vader's Tie Fighter, two more beat up Snow Speeders, a beat up Millennium Falcon and all of the action figures of the main characters. None of which Saxon is allowed to play with.
My collection doesn't end with toys. It includes 6 or 7 shirts, the best of which is my "Vader was framed" shirt. At one point we had two separate copies of Star Wars on VHS and another copy on DVD. One of the VHS copies was my wife's before we got married. I took it as a sign that I had to marry her. It also helped that she was(and still is) totally hot. Of everything that I have collected, my favorite piece would have to be my Light Saber. Its not the $20 ones you get at Walmart and let your kids play with. Its the collectors edition and is about as close to the real thing as you can get.
For Halloween I have even dressed up in full Star Wars costume as Darth Maul twice and Darth Vader once. My kids have dressed up as Darth Vader, Princess Leia, and Yoda, and my wife as Queen Amidala.
And apparently it's genetic as my son is an even bigger fan of Star Wars than me. All he ever wants for Christmas and B-days is Star Wars toys. I think we ran out of things to buy him. The kid's got like 12 light sabers.
I must admit, Star Wars makes me feel young. And to be able to share that with my kids is great too. Now if I could just find someone to play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with. (Yes, I own it and am willing to take on any challengers.)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Bed out of loaves of bread
Have you ever stood on the bread aisle in the grocery store and just stared at all the loaves of bread and thought "If I could take these all home I bet I could make a pretty comfortable bed out of them." I have. It is my dream someday to make a bed out of loaves of bread.
In fact every time I grab the bread to make a sandwich, I give the loaf a little squeeze and think "This sure would be soft to sleep on." You know the squeeze that I am talking about. The one where you squeeze the bread just enough to feel how soft it is but not so hard that you squish it.
Think about it. What could be softer to sleep on than a bed made up entirely of loaves of bread? People have suggested bags of marshmallows but that just wouldn't work. Although they are soft, I just don't think that they would stack well. You see, in order for this to work, it would have to hold its shape and not just spill out everywhere when you laid down. Bread is perfect in that it is soft and also has proper shape for stacking. The long loaves of bread can be laid in alternating directions, therefore making a stable bed to sleep on.
Which answers the question, would you unwrap the bread or leave it in the bag? Leave it in the bag, of course. Otherwise you would have the same problem as the marshmallows and the slices would just spill out everywhere. I suppose that this could be remedied by baking the bread at home and not slicing it. But then the home made bread would get crumbs everywhere, and who wants crumbs in their bed? I also don't think that home made bread would stack as well. The loaves are shorter and they are really rounded on top. Somehow in the store, they have managed to make loaves of bread with almost flat tops, which I am sure they do just for the purpose of stacking.
So the next time that you are at Walmart on the bread aisle and you pick up that loaf of bread and give it that little squeeze to make sure its fresh, don't think about peanut butter and jelly, think about a good night rest.
NOTE:
If you have a bad back and are considering make a bed out of loaves of bread, you may still want to consider home made bread. A good whole wheat home made bread is often more dense than store bought bread and the extra firmness may provide needed back support while sleeping.
In fact every time I grab the bread to make a sandwich, I give the loaf a little squeeze and think "This sure would be soft to sleep on." You know the squeeze that I am talking about. The one where you squeeze the bread just enough to feel how soft it is but not so hard that you squish it.
Think about it. What could be softer to sleep on than a bed made up entirely of loaves of bread? People have suggested bags of marshmallows but that just wouldn't work. Although they are soft, I just don't think that they would stack well. You see, in order for this to work, it would have to hold its shape and not just spill out everywhere when you laid down. Bread is perfect in that it is soft and also has proper shape for stacking. The long loaves of bread can be laid in alternating directions, therefore making a stable bed to sleep on.
Which answers the question, would you unwrap the bread or leave it in the bag? Leave it in the bag, of course. Otherwise you would have the same problem as the marshmallows and the slices would just spill out everywhere. I suppose that this could be remedied by baking the bread at home and not slicing it. But then the home made bread would get crumbs everywhere, and who wants crumbs in their bed? I also don't think that home made bread would stack as well. The loaves are shorter and they are really rounded on top. Somehow in the store, they have managed to make loaves of bread with almost flat tops, which I am sure they do just for the purpose of stacking.
So the next time that you are at Walmart on the bread aisle and you pick up that loaf of bread and give it that little squeeze to make sure its fresh, don't think about peanut butter and jelly, think about a good night rest.
NOTE:
If you have a bad back and are considering make a bed out of loaves of bread, you may still want to consider home made bread. A good whole wheat home made bread is often more dense than store bought bread and the extra firmness may provide needed back support while sleeping.
Monday, April 14, 2008
I had REALLY bad hair.
You may not know this from looking at me, but I had really, really bad hair in High School. In fact, it was so bad, that seeing my picture in the yearbook would generally make people laugh.
Case in point. I had a friend in Utah named Perry who lived next door to a girl that I went to High School with. One day while his family was having a BBQ with their family, the old year book was brought out and passed around. The next day at church Perry couldn't stop laughing and commenting on how awesome my hair was.
So what style of hair cut did I have in High School? Well that's the problem. It didn't really have a style to it. It was just awkwardly long. Not the suave, stylish Fabio long, just plain weird long. It was long enough in the front that I could put my bangs in my mouth. Needless to say, my mom hated it and loved that I had to cut it before going on a Mission for my church.
I look back and wonder why I wore my hair like that. At the time it made me different, I thought it was great. Admittedly now, I was probably the only one. I guess I thought it made me look like a cool drummer, or snowboarder rebel, even though I rarely did anything wrong.
I have always wondered why no one told me that I needed a hair cut. Obviously my mom told me to cut it, but who listens to their mom even when they are right. They usually are. I have 4 sisters and any one of them could have said something, but I probably wouldn't have listened to them either.
Even later in life, I didn't really have a great hair cut. That all changed when I got married. You see for women, getting married is like getting a life size Ken doll that they can dress up. They can pick out clothes, style his hair. And I must admit, I was glad to have help. In fact, after almost nine years of marriage, I am comfortable picking out my own clothes without having to ask my wife, "Do I like this?" or "Does this go together?"
Some men don't like having their wives pick out their clothes. They think that they can do just fine on their own. I think that if you don't like having your wife help you pick out your clothes then you probably dress funny. Much like me in High School, you think you look cool, but you could use some help from someone with better taste and style.
I like my hair style now and I think it fits me. And I must add, I am happy that I am not going bald like most of my friends. The only question left to ask is, "What's my real hair color?" but that will have to be answered in another blog down the road.
Case in point. I had a friend in Utah named Perry who lived next door to a girl that I went to High School with. One day while his family was having a BBQ with their family, the old year book was brought out and passed around. The next day at church Perry couldn't stop laughing and commenting on how awesome my hair was.
So what style of hair cut did I have in High School? Well that's the problem. It didn't really have a style to it. It was just awkwardly long. Not the suave, stylish Fabio long, just plain weird long. It was long enough in the front that I could put my bangs in my mouth. Needless to say, my mom hated it and loved that I had to cut it before going on a Mission for my church.
I look back and wonder why I wore my hair like that. At the time it made me different, I thought it was great. Admittedly now, I was probably the only one. I guess I thought it made me look like a cool drummer, or snowboarder rebel, even though I rarely did anything wrong.
I have always wondered why no one told me that I needed a hair cut. Obviously my mom told me to cut it, but who listens to their mom even when they are right. They usually are. I have 4 sisters and any one of them could have said something, but I probably wouldn't have listened to them either.
Even later in life, I didn't really have a great hair cut. That all changed when I got married. You see for women, getting married is like getting a life size Ken doll that they can dress up. They can pick out clothes, style his hair. And I must admit, I was glad to have help. In fact, after almost nine years of marriage, I am comfortable picking out my own clothes without having to ask my wife, "Do I like this?" or "Does this go together?"
Some men don't like having their wives pick out their clothes. They think that they can do just fine on their own. I think that if you don't like having your wife help you pick out your clothes then you probably dress funny. Much like me in High School, you think you look cool, but you could use some help from someone with better taste and style.
I like my hair style now and I think it fits me. And I must add, I am happy that I am not going bald like most of my friends. The only question left to ask is, "What's my real hair color?" but that will have to be answered in another blog down the road.
Monday, April 7, 2008
If I were a superhero
If I were a superhero, I would be Electrostatic Man and my superpower would be static electricity. Why you ask? For some reason I seem to generate an abnormal (I like to refer to it as superhuman) amount of static electricity.
Most superheroes realize their superpower during the awkward stages of puberty and it is generally thought that the changes in hormones trigger the superpower to become active. I seem to be a late bloomer as my superpower seems to have come in to effect now that I am in my 30s. As my wifes notes, this may have some correlation to the fact that my chest hair is just now beginning to fill in.
I have often wondered how and why I generate so much static electricity. Is it my shoes? Do I shuffle my feet when I walk? Honestly it doesn't seem to matter what shoes I have on, what surface I am walking on, or how I am walking. In fact I seem to generate static electricity even when I sit still.
Costco is the worst. I have been shocked so bad there that I thought my fingers would explode. At first I thought it was something wrong with Costco. But my wife and I can shop together and touch the same door, and I will get a huge shock and she won't feel a thing. The biggest shocks come from the Freezer doors. It can be hard when I have to open more than one door on a shopping trip. The first door always catches me off guard. But by the second and third door my hands hesitate and even twitch before touching the door out of fear of getting shocked.
The only time my wife gets shocked at Costco is when I accidentally touch her while in the store. It makes for quite a powerful kiss when accompanied by a full charge of static electricity. Needless to say, we have a standing, "No kissing in Costco rule."
I have yet to figure out how to control my superpower. I am not sure that I will ever be able to use it to leap over tall buildings or save the world. But with the rising gas prices, I would settle for being able to generate enough static to power an electric car.
Most superheroes realize their superpower during the awkward stages of puberty and it is generally thought that the changes in hormones trigger the superpower to become active. I seem to be a late bloomer as my superpower seems to have come in to effect now that I am in my 30s. As my wifes notes, this may have some correlation to the fact that my chest hair is just now beginning to fill in.
I have often wondered how and why I generate so much static electricity. Is it my shoes? Do I shuffle my feet when I walk? Honestly it doesn't seem to matter what shoes I have on, what surface I am walking on, or how I am walking. In fact I seem to generate static electricity even when I sit still.
Costco is the worst. I have been shocked so bad there that I thought my fingers would explode. At first I thought it was something wrong with Costco. But my wife and I can shop together and touch the same door, and I will get a huge shock and she won't feel a thing. The biggest shocks come from the Freezer doors. It can be hard when I have to open more than one door on a shopping trip. The first door always catches me off guard. But by the second and third door my hands hesitate and even twitch before touching the door out of fear of getting shocked.
The only time my wife gets shocked at Costco is when I accidentally touch her while in the store. It makes for quite a powerful kiss when accompanied by a full charge of static electricity. Needless to say, we have a standing, "No kissing in Costco rule."
I have yet to figure out how to control my superpower. I am not sure that I will ever be able to use it to leap over tall buildings or save the world. But with the rising gas prices, I would settle for being able to generate enough static to power an electric car.
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